Divorce on the birth of five daughters: I will not let my daughters go through the torture of compulsion

Divorce on the birth of five daughters: I will not let my daughters go through the torture of compulsion

It was a difficult decision for Amina Nazir. She had not left the house without a veil till date. The didn't even know how to find a job and it was only twenty days since their youngest daughter was born.

Their daughter had been born in the hospital and Amina herself was not yet out of postpartum pains, but there was very little food left at home. The children had to stay hungry many times. In the coming days, the matter could come to a complete halt. The house rent was also high. Amina had to make a decision soon.

Earlier his parents and brothers used to help him, but some time ago his mother died and his brothers got married. She didn't even want to go to her brothers for help anymore.

Her two elder daughters also told her that 'we will not go to anyone to beg anymore' but Amina never left the house without veil and never went to work. They did not know what work could be done and how it could be done.

With the advice of the two eldest daughters, they thought of cooking and selling food, but they had very little money and also had the idea of ​​what would happen if it didn't work? But Amina took courage and decided to step out of the house. He covered his face with a sheet.

Amina bought some rice, filled a pot and made biryani and picked up a bench and went to Airport Road on the outskirts of Rahimyar Khan city to sell it. The labor pains were still not completely gone and it was extremely painful for them to stand for long periods of time.

After giving milk to the 20-day-old daughter Fatima in the feeder, she handed it over to the older daughters. His ten-year-old daughter Faza came with him to help him. The airport road is also busy with motorbikes and rickshaw pullers. These people mostly stopped to buy Biryani from Amina but after a while Amina had to run home as Fatima was crying continuously. After putting her in a crib, sewing her up, Amna walked back about two kilometers to her biryani stall.

It has been a year and a half now. At the same place today Amina puts a cart of biryani and there are two or three benches on which people buy and eat biryani. They also have lunch boxes in which they also pack Biryani.

Speaking to the The Time News Today, Amina recalled the moment when she started this work and could not hold back her tears.

'My daughter was only twenty days old when I was standing here selling biryani. I was in severe pain, it was getting difficult for me to breathe, but in front of me were only the faces of my daughters.

After a few moments of pause and trying to stop the tears, when he spoke again, he started crying regularly.

I used to give feeder to the daughter but still she would not shut up. One of his eyes was damaged but I had no money for medicine. She would run away and put him in the swing and then run back. I was not even standing up to myself, but I did all this for my daughters.

Why did Amina have to do all this?

When Amina Nazir's youngest and fifth daughter Fatima was born, her husband left home. When they came to know that their daughter was born, they did not even go to the hospital to see her or inquire about Amina's well-being.

Amina returned home from the hospital with her eldest daughter who was around 16 years old.

He was sitting at home. He never once looked at his daughter. I also told him that if a daughter has been born, look at it, but he did not see it.

And then they left the house, leaving Fatima, four daughters and Amina, who were only a few days old. After that, Amina and her five daughters had no breadwinner in a rented house in this area of ​​Norewali.

Remembering this time, Amina became overwhelmed once again. "I am fine, but he left his little daughters." I said I will stay, but the way my daughters are living their lives crying is not seen by me.

Amina remembers when her daughters would say to her, 'Mommy is hungry, when will papa come', she would comfort them by saying, 'Be patient, they will come soon.'

'My husband wanted a son'

Amina Nazir got married about fifteen years ago with the will of her parents. They both did not know each other before. Her husband was three or four years older than her. After the birth of her first daughter, her life began to suffer.

He (husband) wanted a son. My brother-in-law had sons and daughters were being born in my house, my husband did not want this, he only wanted a son.

She says her husband has not adopted even one daughter. He never loved his daughters. He used to argue with me and beat me. He did not even give me expenses. Amina says that she had to go to her parents' house many times. The family used to send them back explaining that your house is settling down, everything will be fine.

But nothing went right for them. If I used to say that if we have daughters, we will bring them up and settle our house, then he would say don't talk about settling a house. He used to beat me as if I were his maid and not his wife.

Amina says that when she once said to her husband that there is no problem, I will raise my daughters myself, he said no.

He said, 'What will you do, you are nothing without me.'

Then came the day when her husband left the house and went to his parents' house and never came back. After a few days, he divorced Amna Nazir.

"I feel like committing suicide"

Close to where Amna Nazir sets up her stall, there were furniture makers' workshops and a railway track across the road. Every once in a while a train would pass by.

At a short distance on the other side of the track is the settlement in which Amina's house resides. She leaves there early in the morning with a cart of Biryani. Their house is situated on a slope slightly below the road so they have to push the cart up. His daughters help him in this.

She goes out of the city and moves to the suburbs so that she does not have to listen to people.

"That Amina is standing, why is she standing, what is she doing and my ears were ripe after hearing words like divorced."

She says that when her husband divorced her, she once did not understand what had happened to her and may have moved on. She just kept crying.

She was still crying. "Once I felt like committing suicide and killing my daughters too."

Amina held back her tears and tried to speak again, but I didn't. I thought six lives would be lost and that's when I decided to make myself strong, so strong that my daughters can be proud of me.'

After making this decision, Amina thinks she realized that she actually wanted to get out of 'this life of torment' by getting a divorce.

'Life had become hell'

While putting rice in the lunch box for those who came to take biryani standing on the cart, Amina said that her parents had also taken a rickshaw to her husband, but despite this, they did not pay the household expenses of Amina and the children.

Amina had to ask her parents and brothers for money for the house rent. My parents used to take even the clothes of their daughters. He (husband) did not even know where the clothes his daughter wore came from.

Amina feels that her 'life had become hell.' Her ex-husband paid no attention to the education or upbringing of her daughters. Amina had to go first to her parents and then to her brothers for her small needs.

The brothers used to help me but they did not explain to him that he should not do the same to me and build his own house. They used to say, Amina, you are settling down, be patient, everything will be fine. Then her mother died and her brothers got married.

Now Amina did not like going to her brothers' house and asking them for help, but her husband's attitude was the same. They still wouldn't pay them. 'Now I think I might have wanted a divorce. It became very difficult for me to bear all this.

I don't want my daughters to go through this pain.

It was difficult for a veiled woman like Amina to step out of the house to earn, but when her biryani business took off, she gained confidence. She says she felt she could do everything men do even with a veil.

She wakes up early in the morning and prepares Biryani. After that, she prepares breakfast for her children and leaves the house. Some time ago, he married the eldest daughter simply after seeing a relationship.

From this, the younger daughter prepares food etc. for the house. Amina finishes selling Biryani by three o'clock. His middle ten-year-old daughter Fiza brings him essentials from home on a bicycle.

I have also taught this daughter to cycle. If something runs out, like a shopper, it brings me back to the cycle. I am teaching the older one to ride a bike. I don't want my daughters to go through the torture that I went through.

Amina also rides a motorcycle. She used to get tired of working all day, so some time ago she taught herself to ride a bike and bought a used bike with the earnings of Biryani.

On this she goes to Syria to get biryani supplies. Even if a daughter needs to be taken to the hospital etc., the motorcycle comes in handy.

"I want my daughters to be my ID card"

Amina Nazir's daughters are not able to go to school and get education and she realizes it. She could not teach the elder daughters but she is educating the younger daughters through tutoring at home.

He cannot get admission in school because his father never paid attention to it. Neither their Form B was made nor any other identification documents with the help of which they can get admission in the school.

Amina wants that if the government helps her and her daughters are identified with their names and given identity cards etc., then her daughters can go to school and get education.

I want them to be able to stand on their feet tomorrow after reading and writing something. They should not have to go through the torment that I have gone through.

By selling Biryani, they get enough money to survive. They just think that if they get their own house and get rid of the rented house, their life will be easier.

Amina says that she now feels confident and strong enough to raise her daughters on her own.

"My daughters also say that our mother has become stronger now."